Road-Dogg and the love triangle
by Coolio
Summary: Road-Dogg loves Lita, Lita loves the rock, it's a big ol' love mess....i decided to put some wrestlers from the past in here,


"ROAD-DOGG AND THE LOVE TRIANGLE"  
  
NOTE: none of these characters belong to me, (most) of them still belong to the wwe, once again I thought it would be cool to take a trip down memory lane, please read and review, thanks, c ya  
  
"Tag me out, Road-Dogg, tag me! Tag me, tag me, tag me!" X-pac cried, jumping around and trying to get Road-Dogg's attention, but Road-Dogg's attention was pointing towards another direction. X-pac and Road-Dogg were back together again; they were wrestling the Hardy Boyz for the tag team titles. "Road-Dogg," X-pac had to get right, straight in to Road-Dogg's face, just to get his attention. Too bad it didn't work though, Road-Dogg just moved his head from the view of X-pac's tonsils to get back to a whole lot better view, staring straight at Lita. Ever since Lita came to the WWF, Road-Dogg was madly in love with her, he knew that Triple H, Stephanie and X-pac wouldn't understand, so he kept it a secret. "Hey, Road-Dogg," X-pac kept on yelling.  
  
"Road-Dogg, what's wrong with you? I'm not over there, I'm over here," he cried, moving toward Road-Dogg's direction, Road-Dogg moved back over to the left. X-pac just fainted in exhaustion, he had to beat down both Matt and Jeff Hardy, and they were in great pain, rolling around on the mat, Lita watched in worry from a safe distance. X-pac realized once again that he was in a match and slowly got back up. "Road-Dogg," he panted, "it's been 20 min., you haven't wrestled once during the whole match. You didn't even touch anyone yet, don't you think it's about time you showed a little fire in the belly." Road-Dogg just sighed and continued staring at Lita. "Road-Dogg!" X-pac cried, it was time to get tough.  
  
X-pac tried four attempts to get Road-Dogg in the ring: he tried just explaing to Road-Dogg, he tried a toy wrestling ring and WWF wrestling action figures, he tried a sketch-out picture, he even tried sock puppets. "Road-Dogg tagging out X-pac is good, I like it when Road-Dogg tags out X- pac," X-pac said in little puppet voices, "me too, in fact, I wish Road- Dogg would tag out X-pac right now, hee hee, don't you Road-Dogg?" X-pac made a little puppet say, putting the puppet straight in to Road- Dogg's face, X-pac just stared at him with a pleading look. X-pac hadn't noticed, however, that Matt and Jeff were back on their feet, they snuck up and attacked X-pac from behind, Lita was distracting the referee. X-pac gave a yelp as the Hardy Boyz pulled him down, the fight kicked up dust and all that was heard from the ring were screams, hollers and cats' screeching noises. A few minutes later, the match ended and the Hardy Boyz and Lita started heading up the rail, X-pac just laid there with bruises, scratches and blood all over him. Road-Dogg came out of his trance when he lost sight of Lita, he calmly looked down at X-pac and asked, "oh, X-pac, did we lose?" X-pac just gave out a loud moan in reply.  
  
About 15 minutes later, Road-Dogg was walking down a locker room hallway by himself. "(sigh) if only I had the courage to tell Lita how much I really cared for her," he thought to himself, moping around, "but who am I kidding, Lita would never understand, she thinks I'm a big jerk, (double sigh)." Road- Dogg was so deep in self-pity, he didn't see where he was going and he ran smack in to.guess, whom, Lita! "Oh, Road-Dogg, I'm sorry," Lita started to apologize while standing up and brushing herself off. "Oh, that's okay," Road-Dogg started, then all of a sudden he realized who he bumped in to, "Uh, I mean, watch where your goin', Lita!"  
  
"Okay," Lita replied, gently and started to walk away. Road-Dogg realized the mistake he made and called her back, "Lita, wait!" "Yes, Road-Dogg," Lita said as she slowly turned around. Road-Dogg hesitated for a minute, then he decided to himself, "Okay this is it Road- Dogg, it's now or never, you're going to confess your love to her." "Were you going to say something, Road-Dogg?" Lita asked, getting closer to him. "Uh, Lita.I.I," Road-Dogg stuttered with hesitation, "I.. Hey, look over there!" Road-Dogg suddenly shouted, while pointing. Lita spun around, but didn't see anything. When she turned back, Road-Dogg was gone.  
  
Lita started looking for him, but Road-Dogg was around the corner, hiding behind a soda machine. "Dang, I did it again, I messed up!" Road-Dogg said to himself, while banging his head against the machine. He continued until he got a headache, then he finally stopped, "oh, I'm just kidding myself, she'll never see anything in me." All of a sudden, a voice boomed from behind him, which made him jump 6 ft. in the air. "Hey, Brahma Bull wanna-be," the Rock shouted, " whatcha staring at?" "Quiet!" Road-Dogg hissed.  
  
"Don't tell the Rock to be quiet, Jabroni!" The Rock hissed back. "Whoops, sorry Rocky," Road-Dogg pleaded as he realized who he just hissed at. "It's just that, will, look over there," Road-Dogg said, pointing around the corner. The Rock looked and didn't see anything that interested him, " It's just Lita," the Rock replied. "Just Lita," Road-Dogg started, then he realized what he was getting himself into, "uh, I mean, yes it's Lita, just Lita!" Even though Road-Dogg was trying to cover it up, Rock could see right through him. "You're in love with her, aren't you, Road-Dogg?"  
  
"No!" Road-Dogg started, then he gave up, "Yes, I'm crazy, insanely in love with her, how'd you know?" The Rock gave him a sly look and said, "You think the Rock never dated, Jabroni, get real!" Road-Dogg just gave him a sorrowful look, the Rock looked at him, helpfully, "what's the matter, you don't know how to tell her?" "Noooo!" Road-Dogg whined.  
  
"Okay, okay, quit sounding like a roody-poo baby, ok," the Rock started, " the Rock thinks he has something that can help you out." Road-Dogg looked up to him, hopefully, "really?" "Yeah," answered the Rock, "now look, every woman loves flowers, so when we go to Ft. Lauderdale next time."  
  
That Tuesday, Road-Dogg was peering over the corner, looking at Lita, "oh come on, Rock, where are you?" he murmured to himself, all of a sudden, the Rock came running up the hallway. "Here you go, you love sick Jabroni, you," the Rock panted out, with a big smile on his face and handing Road-Dogg a bouquet of two dozen yellow roses, "go get her, tiger!" Road-Dogg stared at Lita nervously, then back to the rock and stuttered out, "I-I can't do it, it'll never work." The Rock looked at him like his brain was going to blast out of his head. " Now you listen to the Rock, you roody-poo Jabroni, the Rock did not drive his butt down to the most romantic flower shop in the city, get chased by a bunch of fans, stay in the store for two hours trying to pick out the nicest flowers he ever seen in his life and race back here in time for his match. The Rock didn't do all that, just to hear from a big chicken like yourself, tell him he can't confess his love to a woman. Let the Rock just tell you one more thing, if you don't give those flowers to Lita right now, the Rock is going to do something not nice!" Road-Dogg stared at him in fear, shaking, "o-ok," Road-Dogg finally stuttered out, "I'll give them to her." Rock let go of Road-Dogg's collar, gave him the roses and pushed him out into the hall.  
  
Road-Dogg had no choice but to tell Lita the truth. "Uh, Lita," he said. "Yes, Road-Dogg," Lita answered. Road-Dogg looked at her nervously, than turned around to see Rock giving him two thumbs up and a big smile. "Um, Lita," Road-Dogg started, Lita just looked at him, patiently, "I.I.the rock got you these flowers because he likes you, but he was too nervous to tell you, so here you go!" Road-Dogg hastily said, then he moaned in regret. Lita just stared back at the Rock, "Oh, Rocky," Lita sighed with love in her eyes. Rocky just stared at her and Road-Dogg in shock.  
  
"Oh, Rocky, I never knew you cared so much," Lita said, walking closer to the Rock. She soon broke out into a run after him, Road-Dogg could only stay there and watch. That following Monday, Road-Dogg was just hanging out alone in the DX locker room, waiting for Raw is War to start, all of a sudden there was a knock at the door. "Yeah?" Road-Dogg asked, looking through a wrestling magazine, "Road- Dogg, is anyone else in there?" Road-Dogg recognized the Rock ask.  
  
"Uh, no," Road-Dogg answered back, looking around. The Rock then ran in a slammed the door, panting. "Road-Dogg, you have to explain to Lita that it's you that has the crush on her, not the Rock, she's driving the Rock crazy!" Road-Dogg looked down to the floor and sighed, "I just can't do it, Rock," he confessed. The Rock stared at him in anger, "Now you listen to the Rock, Road-Dogg," the Rock yelled, pointing a finger, "if you, were any kind of man at all, you would tell this crazy woman the truth!" Road-Dogg just looked at the Rock and whispered, "I'll try." At this moment, the Rock felt sorry for what he just said, and put a comforting hand on Road-Dogg's back, "You'll have to tell her someday, you know." He said in a calm voice.  
  
Road-Dogg looked back at the Rock and asked in confusion, "why is she after you anyway, you're married?" "The Rock knows," the Rock answered back, "she thinks the Rock's going to leave Dany for her. Do you know what she thinks, she thinks the Brahma bull would look better with a bow on it's head, and she thinks peach would be a better color for the leather on the championship belt than black. Also, she wrote, "Rocky loves Lita" on the Rock's locker room mirror.  
  
"Ok, Rock," Road-Dogg stood up, determinedly, "I'll do it, I'll tell Lita the truth." "Fine-Rock-Dandy," the Rock answered back, "now time to get ready for the Rock's match," the Rock said as he hurried out the door. "I'll never be able to tell Lita." Road-Dogg moaned, as he slumped down in a chair.  
  
About half an hour later, Raw is War began, but before that, everybody decided that the WWE would do something different, just for this one Raw, they were going to have a spectacular show of all the wrestlers doing their own special talents and fighting their own rivals. Rikishi and Too Cool were in the ring dancing, Edge and Christian, The Hardy Boyz and The Dudley Boyz were up near the rail, doing a Tables, Ladders and Chairs match. Meanwhile, down by the ring, Tazz and Jerry Lawler were hitting each other around the ring , the Undertaker and Kane were choke slamming each other. Triple H, Stephanie, Shane and Big Show were arguing with each other, X-pac was waiting for Road-Dogg and Shane's watch went "tick."  
  
Even though Kane was choke slamming the heck out of Undertaker, he still wondered one thing. "Hey, brother, why didn't you ride down here on your motorcycle?" "I don't know, It was stolen." Undertaker answered as Kane choke slammed him again.  
  
In the ring, Vince put J.R. in charge of everything, but Jim thought the audience wasn't getting as much out of it .  
  
"More!" Jim yelled.  
  
All of a sudden, Rikishi and Too Cool were bouncing in the ring, the TLC match was crushing and banging, Tazz and Jerry were smashing each other in the head, Undertaker and Kane were slamming each other down harder, the talking was turning into yelling, X-pac was pacing back and forth and Shane's watch went, "tick."  
  
Jim got closer, but still couldn't hear, "More!"  
  
Rikishi and Too Cool were jumping up and down in the ring, the TLC match was literally, shaking the walls, Tazz and Jerry were running back and forth around the ring bamming the blood out of each other, Kane and Undertaker were shaking the ring floor with the choke slamming, the yelling turned into crying, X-pac was standing nervously, tapping his foot and Shane's watch went "tick."  
  
All of sudden, the Rock's music boomed out of the speakers and the Rock ran down to the ring in panic, for there, just following him, was Lita on Undertaker's motorcycle. "Rock, you come back here, this instant!" Lita cried, she was wearing a silk, white dress and the bouquet Road-Dogg gave her, "If we hurry, we can still make it to the all night wedding chapel in Las Vegas!" She rode down to the ring, as Rock scrambled in, all of a sudden the Undertaker noticed that it was his motorcycle Lita was on. Undertaker ran down to his motorcycle and hugged it.  
  
"Oh, oh my poor baby," Undertaker said, embracing it, tightly, "what did that woman do to you, oh, I hope you're not hurt, oh!" Just then, Undertaker notice that the license plate didn't say, "The Undertaker," it said, "Just Married." Undertaker just looked in confusment, then he asked, "Lita, who just got married? Did we just get married? I don't feel like I just got married."  
  
Just then, Road-Dogg came running down to the ring, finally, ready to confess it all to Lita, when he finally made it down there, however, Jim just shouted, "Louder!" Rikishi's and Too Cool's bodies ached as they twisted and rolled themselves around the ring, the people in the TLC match were bleeding and having spasms, Tazz and Jerry were totally thrashing each other with chairs and ladders and anything they could get their hands on, Kane and Undertaker were breaking the ring with choke slams, the crying turned into shrieking, X-pac was yelling at Road-Dogg for coming down so late, Triple H was trying to discuss where the heck Rock was, because they were suppose to wrestle one another, Lita was trying to get the Rock on the motorcycle, Rock was starting to go totally crazy and Shane's watch went, "tick."  
  
"More!" Jim yelled to the person yelling at him.  
  
Rikishi and Too Cool were falling over each other, suffering from Charlie horses and cramps all over their bodies, all three of the teams in the TLC match were out cold, Tazz and Jerry were chasing each other through the arena, throwing everything in the world at each other, Undertaker and Kane were making holes in the ring, Stephanie's, Shane's and Big Show's throats were hurting, Triple H was still trying to get some information from the Rock, Lita was pulling the Rock to the motorcycle, X-pac was shouting to Road-Dogg, the Rock went completely insane and Shane's watch went, "tick."  
  
All of a sudden, the Rock couldn't stand anymore. "Stop it, stop it, for goodness sakes, just stop it!" The Rock shouted, jumping up and down with tears in his eyes,  
  
" Now the Rock doesn't mind Rikishi and Too Cool dancing, he doesn't mind the TLC match, he doesn't mind Tazz and Lawler fighting, he doesn't mind Undertaker and Kane choke slamming each other; he doesn't mind all the yelling in the ring. Heck, he doesn't even mind Triple H and Lita nagging him, he doesn't mind X-pac shouting at Road-Dogg. You know something though, you know what really pisses the Rock off is Shane's watch going "tick," he can't stand it when that watch goes, "tick," Shane stop making it go, "tick!"  
  
Shane just looked at his watch and said, "Really, I always thought it went, "tock." At this moment, Rock just turned to Road-Dogg and panted out, "Now Road- Dogg, do it now, tell Lita the truth!" Road-Dogg looked at Lita and then to the Rock and said, "Rock, I just can't do it, I'm sorry." The Rock just turned toward Lita, tired and weary, then he yelled, "The Rock isn't in love with you, Road-Dogg is! Road-Dogg's in love with you, Road-Dogg!" Lita turned to Road-Dogg and calmly asked, "Road-Dogg, is this true?" Road-Dogg looked at the floor and said, "yes."  
  
Tears filled up in Lita eyes as she embraced Road-Dogg, tightly. "Oh, Road-Dogg, I'm so glad," she cried. Road-Dogg just looked in shock, "y-you are?"  
  
"Yes, I liked you ever since I came here, I've been waiting for months for you to ask me out." Road-Dogg just grabbed her and kissed her. All of a sudden, Road-Dogg let go, "Hey," he asked, "what about the Rock?" Lita turned towards the Rock and said, "I'm sorry, Rock, you're perfect for any woman, but, I just don't like your shoes."  
  
The Rock just smiled back and nodded his head.  
  
All of a sudden, Road-Dogg turned to Triple H. "Alright, Triple H, now you know my secret," he said with a stiff, upper lip. "I can't believe it," Triple H just said. "Yeah, I know you would be." Road-Dogg started, disappointedly. All of a sudden, Triple H threw his arms around Road-Dogg, "Elated?" Road-Dogg asked in surprise.  
  
"Oh, Road-Dogg," Triple H said, happily, "finally, you're gonna settle down, I've been waiting for this moment." After that, Road-Dogg and Lita climbed onto Undertakers bike, which Undertaker gave to them and they drove away to Las Vegas to the song, "I will do anything for love, but I won't do that."  
  
Triple H just looked with tears in his eyes, "My little boy's growing up," he thought to himself. Rock just looked and said to himself, "Hmm, Road-Dogg and Lita, who'd thunk it?"  
  
While Jim Ross shouted, "More!" 


End file.
